How to pee in your wetsuit // 8 rules

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Hey there! Today I would like to repost here one of my favorite articles from the blog Allons Rider. The original post is in French, but I thought you would have enjoyed it. So I translated and shared it here with you today.
(*UPDATE: I would like to add a mention to this article - which I found after writing this post - as a source of inspiration)

The topic could seem gross to many, but not to surfers. Peeing is commonplace in our community, especially in winter. So, have a read and stay warm!

The question no longer arises between surfers. Pissing yourself is a normal thing. And yes, on a winter morning after drinking a huge coffee, peeing in your wetsuit keeps you warm. 
There are, however, two types of discourse: surfers who openly admit to pee in their wetsuits (about 90%) and others who do that, but do not dare to admit it (9%).

In conclusion, we are not going to tell you whether it is good or not to do it because there is only a minority of militants against the pee issue. If pissing him(her)self is commonplace to the surfer, here are some rules that will serve both newbies and regulars.

1. Do not pee in a buddy's wetsuit

Camille was cool enough to let you borrow her new wetsuit so you can enjoy the waves today. And then you offered him the yellow baptism to thank him. Cool! NOT. We DO NOT pee in a friend's wetsuit. The pee is private!

2. Do not pee in a new wetsuit

After you buy a new wetsuit you have to give yourself a phase of testing. The first try in water is very important to know if the wetsuit is well fitted and if the chest zip will not let you go after three uses. This is your first wetsuit, your new baby and everyone talks about the happiness of peeing in it.

Take the lead and wait before you take this pleasure. If you realize that your combination has a defect, it will be difficult to return it to the seller if you have evacuated your tea in it once a day for a week. And if by chance this happens, watch out you new buyer who thinks he is buying a new wetsuit (in which you have pissed). Oops!

3. Do not pee in a rented wetsuit

This wetsuit is not yours and it does not look very young. If you dare to pour out your hot pee, imagine the number of pissers that this wetsuit has undergone before you. Uhm... Maybe this time, being naked under the wetsuit is a bad idea... Protect yourself, you never know!

4. Always rinse your wetsuit... and your booties!

Rinsing your wetsuit is important to keep it in good condition. But rinsing it after peeing is mandatory!

Many car trunks smell like dog pee, containing a desolate wetsuit all day in the sun at the bottom of a plastic tray. It gets stronger and stronger and after that it gives pimples. And then, it's nice to get changed next to Axel - it smells good the cat litter.

Even though some have become annual habitu├ęs, peeing remains a winter practice because it keeps warm. And who says winter, says booties. Do not forget that the pee goes down to your feet and that the booties have to get a wash too.

5. Pee at the beginning of the session

Give your wetsuit a chance to be cleaned naturally by the ocean. Pee at the beginning of the session to increase the wash time.

6. Avoid certain foods

The smell of pee is not very pleasant. Imagine the smell of asparagus-flavored pee!

7. Do not lie down on your board after peeing

Hop, it's party time in your wetsuit and the theme is yellow. Great, except that a set comes by and it will now be necessary to lie down to paddle. It's good to feel his pee creep all over your chest. You got it, the best is to pee when the ocean is flat between the sets.

8. Do not pee in the shower at the beach

All right, the session is over now but the urge to evacuate your tea takes you back. Not in the shower! Yes, we said NOT in the shower! You are in front of your buddy and no luck the shower is sloping towards him. "Wait, this year they put hot water!" Great, right?

This article has certainly made you want to go to the toilet, sending you subliminal messages to your brain with the P letter. Wait, it's almost time for a surf session. Don't worry, a friend has certainly already peed in the lineup next to you while you were doing a duck dive. So do not be afraid to do the same. To each his own pee.

Enjoy the original article in French here
7 comments on "How to pee in your wetsuit // 8 rules"
  1. Though the topic looks weird a bit but yeah it's necessary to be known for those who have some problems.

  2. I like #7 Don't lie down on your board after peeing. Get off the board and dunk yourself while peeing in your wetsuit and then open up the collar of your wetsuit and let the ocean water flush the pee out.

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